WISE OLD OWL

PERSONAL ADVICE PAGES

 

There can come times in all our lives when we all need a little help,

 it is in no way a sign of personal failure or a sign of weakness.

If we had a problem with our home we would not hesitate to ask the expert advice of a builder, plumber or electrician, so it should be the same with us when things feel they are on top of us and we do not know what way to turn.

DON'T HESITATE  -  ASK FOR HELP!

 

 

Sometimes it can be really hard to ask others for help or advice, and sometimes the situation itself can prevent it,  but there are highly trained people and agencies out there who can help you discreetly and ensure your safety.

Talk to a professional who can give you the best advice, they also have the contacts and know how to help you best.

 

We all need help sometimes!

 

Banwy Valley Counselling

Elefriends - Support Community ChildLine -  0800 1111
Powys People Direct  -  01597 827666 Citizens Advice Bureau Guide

0845 040506

Get Safe Online Cyberstreetwise Victim Support

 

The pages below only offer advice on how to get professional help,

 it does not replace the need or importance of getting professional help.

 

Abuse & Bullying   Anxiety & Depression
Autism   Death & Dying
     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anxiety & Depression

Life can be stressful at the best of times, but sometimes that level of stress increases to such a level we find it hard to cope with, we then become anxious and worry about things so much it begins to effect our normal day to day life. Stress can creep up silently on even the most strongest of us, catching us totally unawares.

Think of stress as a bowl in your kitchen sink, that old leaking tap has been dripping away in to it for years, on a good day some of the water may evaporate and the level go down, on a bad day it may drip a little faster... It may take a very long time, but one day the level will reach the top and suddenly overflow, and this maybe the first time we become fully aware of it!

Anxiety & Depression can have a tremendous effect on our health; mental health and well-being, triggering other illnesses that can at times even hide the true cause. It can take over our thoughts and become the only thing we are able to think about, causing not just problems for ourselves but also to those close around us.

Below are a few typical signs which may alert you to depression, they are just a guide and not a full list as everyone is affected differently.  If you have some or all of these symptoms then get medical help immediately from your Doctor, he can also arrange counselling and outside help from the many agencies who specialise in this field and who will help you find new ways to cope and try to help you reduce the causes.

 

Restlessness or Agitation.

Irritable and/or Impatient.

Avoiding meeting people, avoiding social events.

Avoiding shopping, not going to appointments or to work.

Loss of enjoyment of things you usually really enjoy.

Repetitive thoughts and/or lack of concentration.

Panic attacks, dizziness; shortness of breath.

Fear of being in groups or busy / noisy environments.

Feeling of helplessness.

Feeling of Numbness; emptiness; despair.

Unexplainable tearfulness.

Loss of interest in sex.

Feeling of isolation.

Self-Harming.

Unable to get sufficient sleep.

Over-Sleeping.

Vivid and upsetting nightmares.

Feeling constantly tired, lack of energy.

Physical aches and pains.

Sweating; dizziness; headaches.

Over-Eating and weight gain.

Loss of appetite and weight loss.

Increased dependence on alcohol; tobacco; drugs or medications.

Thoughts of suicide.

 

 

 

 

 

ABUSE & BULLYING

 

YES BULLYING IS ABUSE!

 

DEFINITION:

Abuse is anything that is harmful, injurous, or offensive. Including excessive wrongful misuse of a substance.

There are several major types of abuse:

Physical, Sexual, Financial, Racial, Emotional, Substance, Neglect.

 

Abuse, whether done intentionally or unintentionally, can have Life long lasting and very damaging effects.

It is never too late to ask for help and support.

Despite popular misconception, sexual or physical abuse is not the most common form of abuse

The biggest form of abuse is:-

NEGLECT!

 

School Bullying

For far too many years, bullying within Schools was brushed aside by teachers as being 'Just kids playing', with an uncaring attitude of ignore it and it may go away.

Some Parents and Teacher's who grew up in the post war culture took the appalling 'pre-soldier' attitude towards bullying, in that it didn't hurt and was 'Character Building', that it was normal and just part of the process of growing up, accompanied by a few ill informed statements of 'It will make a man of you!' or something similar, then it was ignored and no further action taken.

At last bullying is being taken seriously, the post war attitudes have faded although have not gone completely, and Schools have now introduced anti-bullying policies which are helping to reduce the amount of bullying.

Policies alone however do not stop it, it takes the understanding of teaching staff, parents and other pupils, it takes observance and the freedom and ability to act upon it that makes the difference.

Bullying is not just a form of physical abuse, it can also be in many other forms, sometimes many at the same time.

Just because your child has no bruises or physical signs of being abused do not brush the subject aside, they could be suffering internally from Emotional abuse; Financial abuse; Racial abuse or Substance abuse. 

 

 

Bullying is Ageless.

Bullying is not just limited to young children in the school playground, it can happen to any age from a new born Baby to a Great-Great- Grandparent.

It can happen in many places, at Home from family members or family friends, within groups or at the workplace, even in retirement homes and residential complexes.  It can happen to anyone anywhere!

Similarly those who abuse can be of any age, it is not limited to similar age groups, and more an more cases are coming to light of young children even as young as three years old bullying their own parents or the elderly.

 

Long Term Effects:

Bullying can have lasting or even permanent effect on the victim's life, it does not always end for them when the bullying is stopped, the emotional effects caused by bullying can continue throughout their life and can have a direct influence on personal development and the working life of the individual, and can even change their character. Some will become timid; suppressed; fearful; anxious; depressed, be pushed into Anorexia or Bulimia, or suffer from mental illnesses. To a few others it can push them to become bullies themselves.

The old 'Character building / toughing up process' attitude only promoted bullying, it gave the bullies a 'get out of jail free' card, it let them off and stopped them realising the damage they were causing, making them think it was OK to continue. It also did little to set a role model for life and many continue to bully throughout the rest of their lives in relationships and marriages; and in work environments causing pain or grief to others, only their victims change!

Social situations can sometimes set limitations, and these can then influence if not generate bullying or abuse. Financial hardship for instance from unemployment or through illness can induce the need to make do with lower grade housing; lack of suitable food; and can limit or even prevent the ability for parents to buy clothing / equipment / toys / computers etc., that match those of their peers. Although this is not intentionally done by parents, it is important for them to be observant for abuse this can cause, and also be careful with their own actions so they do not 'add fuel to the fire' and create the possibility of bullying and abuse.

Many of us, if not all, will have endured or experienced some form of abuse throughout our life, some may even still be accepting it as 'Normal Behaviour'. It is important that everybody children and adults, understand not just the types of abuse, but how they can have have lifelong damaging effects, and become observant and pro-active against abuse so that we may reduce if not eliminate any abuse that comes our way or towards others we know.

 

There are many forms of abuse, each has it's own causes; effects and possible ways of easing the situation,  I say 'ease' and not 'cure', as although the abuse may be stopped, the past can not be changed or erased, and the effects it has on the victim can not be totally removed. The only thing possible through help and support is to help the victim find new coping mechanisms, and to create new ways of dealing with the situation and lessening the long term effects it has created.